Amity

“I’ll build you a city of stars,” I swore,
I pleaded for peace, yet I pay for the war.
A castle of moonlight all woven with clay,
And a tower to keep me locked blindly away.

‘Cause I was devoted to you, you’re explosive,
Could tear this city down,
And I’d fall from the clouds.

“The pavements will all glow with starlight,” I dreamed,
But now I know it was never meant to be.
Tears pool in the rubble, my tower remains,
And debris groans as it’s consumed by the flames.

‘Cause I was devoted to you, you’re explosive,
You tore our city down,
And I fell from the clouds.

What do you want from me?
I’m giving everything,
Everything that I have.
You promised me safety
In towers and chains, please,
Just promise you won’t come back.
A city of stars
Lies in ruins, a far
Away wreckage of all that I gave.
An overgrown tower,
Your voice getting louder,
But I will break free of your chains.

‘Cause I was devoted, and now I’m explosive,
I’ll tear your prison down,
And I’ll find my way out.

I built you a city of stars one night,
Oh, I sowed the seeds and you set them alight.
Your tower is gone now but there in its place
Grows a flower to mark where you let me decay.

‘Cause I was devoted to you, you’re explosive,
And I’m self-destructive and you are corrosive,
And I want to know all your thoughts and your motives
For tearing cities down,
And leaving me to drown.

Some, not all, but still too many,
The boy will ask his father when he
Is old enough to understand,
“What does it take to make a man?”

And some, not all, but still too many
Look at their son and tell him when he
Comes home with blood on shaking hands,
“This is what it takes to make a man.”

Sit straight, man up, gotta make it count,
Fists raised, head up, make your daddy proud.
Take a couple blows, but less than you deal out,
And do things you can’t repeat out loud.

And some, not all, but still too many,
Will tell him “good, but there’s still plenty
Of things you have to understand.
Do you have what it takes to make a man?”

And some, not all, but still too many,
Look at their father, say “I’m ready,”
And daddy says “take all you can,
You know what it takes to make a man.”

Sit straight, man up, gotta make it count,
Just wait, then drop it while she’s turned around.
Clink your glass with hers, let her drink it down,
And do things you can’t repeat out loud.

And you swallow it, swallow it, swallow it down,
How does it taste to be a man? Feel the weight in your mouth.
Swallow it, swallow it, swallow it down,
And do things you can’t repeat out loud.

Some, not all, but still too many
Do things they can’t repeat out loud.
And some, not all, but still too many
Do things they can’t repeat out loud.

Some, not all, but still too many,
It’s some, not all, but still too many,
And some, not all, but still too many
Do things they can’t repeat out loud.

Some, not all, but still too many,
It’s some, not all, but still too many,
And some, not all, but still too many
Do things they can’t repeat out loud.

And you swallow it, swallow it, swallow it down, (sit straight, man up, gotta make it count,)
How does it taste to be a man? Feel the weight in your mouth. (Fists raised, head up, make your daddy proud.)
Swallow it, swallow it, swallow it down, (Take a couple blows, but less than you deal out,)
You’re a man, you’re a man, you’re a man, you’re a man now. (And do things you can’t repeat out loud.)

And you swallow it, swallow it, swallow it down, (sit straight, man up, gotta make it count,)
How does it taste to be a man? Feel the weight in your mouth. (just wait, then drop it while she’s turned around.)
Swallow it, swallow it, swallow it down, (clink your glass with hers, let her drink it down,)
You’re a man, you’re a man, you’re a man, you’re a man now.

Verse

What’s the difference?
Unpredictable and dangerous
Are conflated, amalgamated
With afraid.
And what’s the difference?
This existence and reality
Are both verging upon merging
With a dream.

Pre-chorus

And where do devils end and gods begin,
Where do you draw the line
When both are thirsty, craving for blood sacrifice?

Chorus

Bite me, I must be dreaming,
Tear my flesh clean off the bone.
Why is it so relieving
To melt in mouths like honeycomb?
Bite me, ‘cause I’m still reeling,
Ground me with your sharp embrace.
How are you so deceiving,
That your hands round my neck still feel like home?

Verse

Now, what’s the difference
Between hedonists and narcissists?
Both chase pleasure, every measure
For self-gain.
And what’s the difference
Animalistic and an animal?
Praise the concept, instinct a godsend
Til it breathes.

Pre-chorus

And where do devils end and gods begin,
Where do you draw the line
When both are thirsty, craving for blood sacrifice?

Chorus

Bite me, I must be dreaming,
Tear my flesh clean off the bone.
Why is it so relieving
To melt in mouths like honeycomb?
Bite me, ‘cause I’m still reeling,
Ground me with your sharp embrace.
How are you so deceiving,
That your hands round my neck still feel like home?
Still feel like home, still feel like-

Bridge

Jaws around my brain,
Must be why I’m still yours, you’ve staked your claim.
Left marks in my skull, left scars in my heart,
Under kinder gaze, I fall apart.

Chorus

Bite me, I must be dreaming,
Teeth gently graze my soul.
Why is it so revealing
To not be under your control?
Bite me, ‘cause I still need it,
Craving the sting and pain.
Why am I so uneasy
When in these gentler arms I feel at home?
I feel at home, I feel at home, I feel at home, I feel at home, I feel at home.

Verse

I am used to being loved oh so fiercely
It leaves bruises to bloom on my skin.
I am used to being loved without mercy,
So forgive me for breaking when you walked in.

Chorus

And in the spaces between conversations,
Our words are lost, and I am found in their place.
Isn’t it strange that I’m afraid?

Verse

I am used to being used as a punchbag,
For catharsis, a means to an end.
I am used to being used as a fallback,
So forgive my distrust of your good intent.

Chorus

And in the spaces between conversations,
Our words are lost, and I am found in their place.
Isn’t it strange that I’m afraid?

Bridge

I’ve spent so long being misunderstood
That you tell me I’m good,
And I turn away.
I’ve spent so long being battered and hurt that
When you tell me I’m worth it,
There’s an aftertaste.
‘Cause you treat me like a person and I’m not sure I’m deserving,
Still I wonder if I can be saved.
But I am used to being hated,
And for years I have wasted away,
Smeared with the ashes of the mess that they made
Of my brain.

Chorus

And in the spaces between conversations,
Our words are lost, and I am found in their place.
Isn’t it strange that I’m afraid
To be known? To be known? To be known?

VERSE 1

Hurricane heart,
You tore the roof right off my soul.
Winter-brushed skin,
Why were your hands always so cold?
Venomous tongue,
How could you bear to spin lies instead of gold? You’ve got me under control,
I hardly knew what you looked like then, but if I saw you again,
I’d know.

CHORUS

And you’d devastate my daydreams,
Desecrate my thoughts,
And douse me in gasoline.
You’d suck the life from my breath,
Crawl into my lungs,
I would have been much better off without your “love”.
I would have been much better off without your “love”.
I would have been much better off without your “love”.

VERSE 2

Sickly sharp teeth,
You dug your fangs into my veins.
Death-tainted eyes,
Crying your tears of acid rain.
Sulphurous blood,
How could you carry the weight of all the pain that you’d pour into my brain?
I hardly carried my own back then, but I’d still do it again
Just to try to save you.

CHORUS

But you’d devastate my daydreams,
Desecrate my thoughts,
And douse me in gasoline.
You’d suck the life from my breath,
Crawl into my lungs,
I would have been much better off without your “love”.
I would have been much better off without your “love”.
I would have been much better off without your “love”.

BRIDGE

And despite it all,
Though you were my downfall,
I’d still come crawling back to you.
Despite the ache,
Though I still adore you,
I’ll always hate the things you’d do.
Stealing my mind, snatching my breath,
Ripping my heart straight out of my chest.
You were a war, and I was a child in the crossfire,
Blinded by your desire.
I mistook your violence for affection,
Never once did I doubt your intentions.
I mistook your bloodlust for protection,
Your obsession was loving attention.
And I miss the way you would praise me
When I would give in,
You made my head spin.
And I miss the way you would crave me,
You’re under my skin,
Still pulling your strings, it’s amazing
How you still have hands inside my skull,
Hurricane heart, why are your hands so cold?

CHORUS

And you devastate my daydreams,
Desecrate my thoughts,
And douse me in gasoline.
You suck the life from my breath,
Crawl into my lungs,
I would have been much better off without your “love”.
I would have been much better off without your “love”.
I would have…

They say we’re made of stardust,
Perhaps that’s why I seem to combust when I feel.
Though emotions pass like river flow,
I still can’t seem to let go of what isn’t real.

Aren’t I too young to feel like this,
In a constant state of existential crisis?

And when my heartbeat stills and my breath returns to the world I stole it from,
When my bones grow old and my memories fade and my time here’s almost gone,
I’ll reminisce on all I’ve done and think of how ephemeral it was.
It was, oh, it was.

They say my songs are ear worms,
But they’ll forget and leave them in the dirt eventually.
I still hope I make a difference
That will live on past my fragile human body.

Aren’t I too young to wonder when
My fleeting time here will come to an end?

And when my heartbeat stills and my breath returns to the world I stole it from,
When my bones grow old and my memories fade and my time here’s almost gone,
I’ll reminisce on all I’ve done and think of how ephemeral it was.
It was, oh, it was.

And as love and happiness are short lived,
So too is the storm,
And every kindness that you give
Helps someone carry on.
Pain will come and pain will go,
Everything has an end.
Worlds will crumble, stars explode,
But life begins again.

And when my heartbeat stills and my breath returns to the world I stole it from,
I’ll realise that the love I give is never truly gone,
And lying there beneath the stars, I’ll think of how perennial it was.
Oh, it was, it was.

They say we’re made of stardust,
Perhaps that’s why it only takes a gust to blow me away.